Illustration of JLo in Charbel Zoe Couture at the MTV VMA’s

There’s times in life when you just have to put the petal to the metal and go out there and DO IT.

With big risks comes big rewards, like I said last week. The SCARIER the better.

Jump in – face first into the unknown and trust that you will learn how to fly.

Fear feeds on doubt and indecision. Trust your gut and figure out what it is you want and need to do.

“Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid not to try.”

Sometimes what you’re most afraid of is the very thing that will set you free.

I just made a huge decision in my life this week and honestly – it was the scariest thing I did in YEARS and also one of the most liberating, exhilarating and amazing experiences.

I committed to designing and MAKING my wedding dress!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the best things and biggest accomplishments I have ever created  in my life was start my fashion line (RockHardAtelier.com). One of the hardest things I have ever done in my life was NOT be able to continue to fund it in the last few years.  So I stopped.

I stopped LIVING MY PASSION.  I skirted around the issue and lived AROUND my passion.  I did the closest thing I knew how to, to draw, to illustrate. But that is only PART of my dream.  I know I am put on this planet to be a hugely successful fashion designer and to dress women all around the world and to make them feel gorgeous and empowered. This feeling is the truest most freeing, and certain fact I have ever known.

To stop in the face of fear, uncertainty and doubt has honestly been slowly killing me. Due to lack of funds – I was stopped temporarily. Due to being scared out of my mind of failure and EVEN MORE scared out of my mind of success I stopped all together and nothing has ever been the same.

If I have learned anything in this life it’s that IMPOSSIBLE is NOTHING. Right now I may not have the funds to support a major fashion line and company but I know that I can’t give up and I know that making this wedding dress is the truest form of expression of myself. It will be the most loving thing I can do to put my heart and soul not only into my future marriage and husband, but also to love and support myself.

I have been looking all over, trying on dresses, wanting to be able to purchase one, wanting to fall in love with that special dress and I realized – no matter how gorgeous or “perfect” the dress is for me – It will never be everything I want.  I will never be my design.

I have the permanent mind of a fashion designer – even if I try to shake it there will always be things I want to tweek, change or improve. I wakeup everyday thinking about what I WISH was in my closet and what I would design.

Fast forward so much stress, anxiety, suppression and pain – I realized that I need to just practice what I preach. I need to surrender to my calling and create the dress of my dreams.

And the process has begun. I just took a huge leap of faith, trusting that the UNIVERSE will have my back. And it DID. In a huge life altering way.  I got major signs along my journey. Everything from Owls made of sequins (something my grandfather used to collect was Owls), huge 530’s on buildings (our wedding date) and the exact lace I used to design one of my best friend’s and bridesmaid’s wedding gown 4 years ago. I know that I am on the right path and the Universe is CELEBRATING, letting me know that I am supported.  I know that there is just so much more to come.

This is what has been holding me back for so long. Fear. This is how I just busted through my blocks to living a life of my dreams.  Just DOING It. Going for it. Looking fear in the face and knowing that Inaction will be the worst thing I could do.

Take this journey with me now. Leap into your dreams with the faith that you hold buried deep down in your heart – the faith that you know is there – with the faith that built these NYC skyscrapers.  Stand tall and sparkle!

Hope that inspires you!  Like WOAH.
xoxo
Emily

P.S. Check out my new branding on my websites:

Follow me on Instagram @EmilyBrickel and my new account for all things fashion illustration @EmilyBrickelillustration